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#11. Posted:
Hoop
  • V5 Launch
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 4,179
Reputation Power: 188
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 4,179
Reputation Power: 188
Nice one Slay for doing a gold giveaway!Thanks for helping the community!
#12. Posted:
Katsuki
  • Spooky Poster
Status: Offline
Joined: May 16, 201311Year Member
Posts: 1,300
Reputation Power: 8155
Status: Offline
Joined: May 16, 201311Year Member
Posts: 1,300
Reputation Power: 8155
Thanks For The Giveaway Dude ! Dont want to enter but thanks for helping TTG with the giveaway
#13. Posted:
Nickolas360
  • Resident Elite
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 10, 201211Year Member
Posts: 287
Reputation Power: 12
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 10, 201211Year Member
Posts: 287
Reputation Power: 12
Well this is one of my Favorite videos! Its a Vine Video


Then a While back I tried to make something Funny, But Yeahh
#14. Posted:
Onyxmat8
  • TTG Master
Status: Offline
Joined: Dec 04, 201112Year Member
Posts: 867
Reputation Power: 35
Status: Offline
Joined: Dec 04, 201112Year Member
Posts: 867
Reputation Power: 35
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.

"I'm going down to give blood."

"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"

"About $20."

"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.

The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.

"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full. I really hope I win
#15. Posted:
Int
  • Blind Gifter
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 03, 201212Year Member
Posts: 5,763
Reputation Power: 2487
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 03, 201212Year Member
Posts: 5,763
Reputation Power: 2487
Hey man hope i win

good luck everyone
#16. Posted:
Notice_Seqma
  • Powerhouse
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 16, 201310Year Member
Posts: 493
Reputation Power: 20
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 16, 201310Year Member
Posts: 493
Reputation Power: 20
I want to win this,

Your mother is soo fat, when she sits down on her iPod, she make a iPad5.
#17. Posted:
PManning18
  • Challenger
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 14, 201310Year Member
Posts: 184
Reputation Power: 7
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 14, 201310Year Member
Posts: 184
Reputation Power: 7
Blonde Cop A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this." Blonde vs Lawyer There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. Another Chance One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb. They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb." The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd. She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?" The blonde responded: "November?" "Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?" The blonde responded: "Paris?" So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance." The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?" The blonde replied: "Two?" "Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd. The Movies Blonde and boyfriend go to movies. Blonde: Can I have two tickets please? Clerk at movies: For Romeo and Juliet? Blonde: No,for my boyfriend and me. Blind Date A young blonde secretary was describing her blind date to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that." "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry." Slices of Pizza A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!" Blondes Mailbox A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "Youve got mail!" Breast Feeding A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus!" Car Accident A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth." Painting The House This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said.... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS. Death Row Three women are on death row in Utah (death penalty by firing squad) and about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready.....Aim....." Suddenly the brunette yells, "Earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready....Aim...." The redhead then screams, "Tornado!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready....Aim...." The blonde shouts, "Fire!" Dandruff A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?" Speeding Blonde One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"
I DEFINITELY MADE YOU LAUGH
#18. Posted:
-Spaarky
  • TTG Addict
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 09, 201112Year Member
Posts: 2,408
Reputation Power: 95
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 09, 201112Year Member
Posts: 2,408
Reputation Power: 95
My local church was robbed last night, they took everything that wasn't nailed down.

At least Jesus was safe.
#19. Posted:
Lye
  • TTG Contender
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 19, 201211Year Member
Posts: 3,628
Reputation Power: 227
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 19, 201211Year Member
Posts: 3,628
Reputation Power: 227
WARNING Offensive Jokes:

What's the difference between a Blonde and a Mosquito?

The Mosquito Stops sucking


What the difference between Madeline Macan and Football?

Football's coming home.
#20. Posted:
Rare-_-Sniping
  • New Member
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 06, 201311Year Member
Posts: 47
Reputation Power: 1
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 06, 201311Year Member
Posts: 47
Reputation Power: 1
Good for you So there was this guy i know and he went to the doctors for a physical and the doctor was like your fine except your pen-is is orange. so the doctor told him to describe his average day and he said okay i get up for breakfast have a bowl of cereal go to work come home eat dinner then jack-o ff to porn while i eat cheetos
and i have hosted so many hacked lobbies on ps3 for free but no one ever cares but thanks for helping out the community
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