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I need help with a girlPosted:

T0P
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Right so I'm just straight up gonna tell you what the situation is.

Right there's this girl that I like a whole lot and she likes me too, there's one problem she lives like 1 hour and 30 minutes away from me and I can't drive yet, so we've agreed that we're gonna meet a few more times before we get together but I am a really jealous guy because I don't have any confidence what so ever, so obviously being jealous I accuse her of talking to other guys, which she says she isn't. I do trust her it's just she could be doing anything living that far away and she is out of my league too, we've known each other for around 4 months and we were really close friends before we told eachother we have feelings for each other. My last relationship was all lies and i'm scared the same thing is happening with this girl although she is nothing like the other girl, truth is I've fallen for this girl hard and I keep pushing her away, when I think she is talking to other guys it hurts and then I accuse her, even though I created those feelings from nothing. I know you're all gonna tell me to just stop being so over protective but that's why I've came to this site, I can't help my self so I need advice. I'm also scared that she is gonna lose feelings because that is the worst thing in the world.

Anyway that's pretty much the situation summed up, I will greatly appreciate every bit of advice I get. Thank you TTG

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#2. Posted:
P90X
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Hey man, I think the best thing to do is be yourself, and don't cause any unnecessary problems, because if you are accusing her of talking to other guys (which isn't wrong on her side, its not like you two are dating right now) she will lose feeling for you, especially being far away. You have to kill her with kindness and love, because if he has spent this much time and effort to keep you in her life, you are something special to her. No girl will go out of her way to keep someone in their life that they don't want there. So I'm not telling you to stop being overprotective because I think its wrong, I'm telling you not to because she will start to think you're a controlling asshole, and that isn't what you want.
#3. Posted:
T0P
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Testawich wroteHey man, I think the best thing to do is be yourself, and don't cause any unnecessary problems, because if you are accusing her of talking to other guys (which isn't wrong on her side, its not like you two are dating right now) she will lose feeling for you, especially being far away. You have to kill her with kindness and love, because if he has spent this much time and effort to keep you in her life, you are something special to her. No girl will go out of her way to keep someone in their life that they don't want there. So I'm not telling you to stop being overprotective because I think its wrong, I'm telling you not to because she will start to think you're a controlling asshole, and that isn't what you want.
That was nicely said, so if I get jealous of I think she's talking to another guy, just bury it? Pretend like it doesn't bother me?
#4. Posted:
P90X
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To be honest it depends how bad it is. If she starts straying away from you for another guy then its hard to come back from that, but like I said you don't want to come off as an asshole, so if you are going to bring it up with her don't "accuse" her of anything, be nice with it, and make sure to clarify that you aren't trying to be a controlling asshole. I would talk to her about how she's feeling right now if you are getting really jealous, how she feels about waiting to be with you, and if it comes to it ask her if there are any other guys that she's talking to intimately, but that is a touchy subject where she could get very defensive depending on the girl. So you will have to say something along the lines of "I don't want to ask you this because I do trust you, but I was wondering if you are talking with any other guys right now? I'm not trying to control your life but with the way we have been talking I just want to make sure we are still on good terms and happy with what we have, and I want to make sure you still want to move forward with me." Obviously reword that into however you would say it, but thats the general idea.
#5. Posted:
Xaldin
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yea you absolutely cannot accuse someone of something unless you have proof that would be a terrible relationship to be in on both ends. Obviously the hard part is what to do with your feelings (you say you trust but you obviously dont), if you can bury them for a while until you build trust that could help if they dont go away you might have to try sitting down with her and trying to understand how she feels but the bottom line is you cant accuse her of things that terrible
#6. Posted:
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Testawich wroteTo be honest it depends how bad it is. If she starts straying away from you for another guy then its hard to come back from that, but like I said you don't want to come off as an asshole, so if you are going to bring it up with her don't "accuse" her of anything, be nice with it, and make sure to clarify that you aren't trying to be a controlling asshole. I would talk to her about how she's feeling right now if you are getting really jealous, how she feels about waiting to be with you, and if it comes to it ask her if there are any other guys that she's talking to intimately, but that is a touchy subject where she could get very defensive depending on the girl. So you will have to say something along the lines of "I don't want to ask you this because I do trust you, but I was wondering if you are talking with any other guys right now? I'm not trying to control your life but with the way we have been talking I just want to make sure we are still on good terms and happy with what we have, and I want to make sure you still want to move forward with me." Obviously reword that into however you would say it, but thats the general idea.
The thing is she tells me she loves me every day and everyday she seems like she loves me more and more, her past relationships have been terrible and she knows I'll treat her better than them, as you said before if she got with another guy it wouldn't be anything bad on her end because we're not together, she also told me that if she was talking to another guy she would tell me straight up without hiding it because she doesn't want to hurt me, I think this is all in my head and I am messing things up with a girl that is really great and likes me. that's what I need help with, I'm seeing stuff that isn't even there, I get what you're saying and it's really good advice thank you very much
#7. Posted:
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Xaldin wroteyea you absolutely cannot accuse someone of something unless you have proof that would be a terrible relationship to be in on both ends. Obviously the hard part is what to do with your feelings (you say you trust but you obviously dont), if you can bury them for a while until you build trust that could help if they dont go away you might have to try sitting down with her and trying to understand how she feels but the bottom line is you cant accuse her of things that terrible
You're 100% right, I didn't realise what a massive **** I was being
#8. Posted:
Xaldin
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quit replying to the troll, just giving him what he wants. clearly has nothing better to do.
#9. Posted:
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listen bro im the same way but i got over it looked at it different , if she finna talk to other boy den why you need her , why hurt ya self , clout yo self bro , show des females dat you ant something that just come , you cant let them hurt you , just wait till you been with the same girl for 3-4 years that shit get tough bro , boss up bro its hard bro hunnit it is but youll be ite bro
#10. Posted:
T0P
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XeShawn wrotelisten bro im the same way but i got over it looked at it different , if she finna talk to other boy den why you need her , why hurt ya self , clout yo self bro , show des females dat you ant something that just come , you cant let them hurt you , just wait till you been with the same girl for 3-4 years that shit get tough bro , boss up bro its hard bro hunnit it is but youll be ite bro
Yeah that's exactly what i mean I don't want her to think she can just mess me about, she speaks to me like all day every day there's not really much time that she could talk to another guy it's just i keep thinking it.
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