Here's the average day for anyone in the Illuminati

7:30 - The Illuminati members wake up (in sync) and brush their teeth, go downstairs and grab a box of "Obama O's" and quickly surf the internet for any "breaking" news.

8:00 - The Illuminati all go to the National Illuminati office, which to enter you must make a triangle with their hands and put it over their eye. The door will then open, and the work day begins.

8:15 - On their way to their office, they exchange friendly "How's Health Care today bobby?" and "Did you see that article from Illuminati weekly?"

8:30 - At the office, the Illuminati member has a computer in front of them. They are required to surf the web finding any news that could support their cause. For example a noteworthy piece of news would go along the lines like this "GUYS GUYS LOOK! If you take Obama's text on this shirt he wore, and put it backwards, multiply it by 10, square root it, twist it, slide it over this light, scramble the letters, and make a song from those letters you get "ILLUMINATI" with a couple R's and O's left over." This is crucial to the work day because without news they would run out of business.

12:30 - Lunchtime it is! They all gather and eat their lunches on the triangle with an eye in the middle tables. They listen to Jay-Z and other artists they believe are in the Illuminati. This goes on for 30 minutes.

1:00 - There's a mandatory Skype call to (Insert current president here) or (some random senator) and address them saying they are all corrupt and then hang up.

2:00 The work day is over, and everyone goes home. They all summon their cars by saying NASA is corrupt, and poof the cars appear.

2:30-12:00 - The Illuminati member arrives home, and just surfs on the web until dinner time and then goes to bed.

Sorry i could've made this more funny, but it got boring after a while XD Hope you enjoyed!