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Only in America..
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Only in America..Posted:
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These are some funny, and true jokes about things in America! I'm American myself, so don't flame. Feel free to post your own and I'll add them to the list!
- Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in America they have escalators and elevators in a fitness gym.
Only in America all the back-pain relievers are on the bottom shelf.
Only in America can you have a president not be smarter than a fifth grader.
Only in America do we have drive through liquor stores.
Only in America is beer cheaper than water.
Only in America does it say on children medicine "After you eat it, do not drive or use machinery".
Only in America does it say on your holiday lights "for indoor and outdoor use only".
Only in America does it say on the frozen dinners "Recommended: heat up before use."
#2. Posted:
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Joined: Oct 16, 201112Year Member
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Some of these are pretty funny my favorite is:
Only in America does it say on the frozen dinners "Recommended: heat up before use."
Only in America does it say on the frozen dinners "Recommended: heat up before use."
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#3. Posted:
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None of them were really THAT good, but worth reading.
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#4. Posted:
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My favorite is only in america you can get a pizza delivered to your house faster then an ambulance can come.
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#5. Posted:
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Only in america there are female ninjas
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#6. Posted:
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Not really that funny but they were fun to read
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#7. Posted:
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haha, This made me laugh
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#8. Posted:
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Even though I'm American, these are still funny.
Answers:
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
FALSE
Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
TRUE
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
VERY TRUE
Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
TRUE. Regular Coke too, for people that work out(jokes)
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
TRUE
Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Sometimes True
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Wut?
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Just noticed this. TRUE
Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Wut?
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Lol, TRUE.
Only in America they have escalators and elevators in a fitness gym.
Not that I've seen.
Only in America all the back-pain relievers are on the bottom shelf.
Not that I've seen
Only in America can you have a president not be smarter than a fifth grader.
LMAO!!
Only in America do we have drive through liquor stores.
TRUE
Only in America is beer cheaper than water.
Very FALSE
Only in America does it say on children medicine "After you eat it, do not drive or use machinery".
LMAO! TRUE
Only in America does it say on your holiday lights "for indoor and outdoor use only".
LMAO TRUE
Only in America does it say on the frozen dinners "Recommended: heat up before use."
I haven't looked.
Well, I give up on being American.
-Concert
Answers:
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
FALSE
Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
TRUE
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
VERY TRUE
Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
TRUE. Regular Coke too, for people that work out(jokes)
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
TRUE
Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Sometimes True
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Wut?
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Just noticed this. TRUE
Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Wut?
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Lol, TRUE.
Only in America they have escalators and elevators in a fitness gym.
Not that I've seen.
Only in America all the back-pain relievers are on the bottom shelf.
Not that I've seen
Only in America can you have a president not be smarter than a fifth grader.
LMAO!!
Only in America do we have drive through liquor stores.
TRUE
Only in America is beer cheaper than water.
Very FALSE
Only in America does it say on children medicine "After you eat it, do not drive or use machinery".
LMAO! TRUE
Only in America does it say on your holiday lights "for indoor and outdoor use only".
LMAO TRUE
Only in America does it say on the frozen dinners "Recommended: heat up before use."
I haven't looked.
Well, I give up on being American.
-Concert
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#9. Posted:
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Joined: Jun 27, 201211Year Member
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i thought they were very interesting to read ;)
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#10. Posted:
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Haha, this is so funny but so true. Makes it embarrassing to be an American, which I am.
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