today, i was reading the newspaper and saw an article on a woman getting crushed to death by a tree. i was thinking to myself, 'what the hell is a tree doing in a kitchen?' My girl told me i was insensitive and should see things from a womens point of view, so i looked out the kitchen window. then she gave me head on my couch... thats right... i have a couch in my kitchen. the next day, my grilfriends mom walked in on us having sex. i looked her in the eyes and finished like a boss