idk what this is I just thought i'd post it for sh*ts and gigs

He’s about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand.



If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug.



Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!



Well, slap my head and call me silly!



Well tie me to a pig and role me in the mud!



Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam!



He’s not particularly intelligent:



The engine’s runnin’ but nobody’s driving.



If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose



He’s so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.



He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.



He’s a little strange…



That boy’s two bricks shy of a full load.



I think that boy’s about two sandwiches shy of a picnic.



I think he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal.



He’s acting crazier than a sprayed roach!



He’s so rich, he buys a new boat each time one gets wet.



You’ve got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook.



He’s tighter than a flea’s ass over a rain barrel.

FAVORITE* It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!