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Depression: My Experience
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Depression: My ExperiencePosted:
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Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 25, 20149Year Member
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So let me first start by saying, wow.. TTG is completely different now.. Its been a minute. My previous username was HTTK if that rings any bells..
Anyway, back to the reason you clicked on this topic. Im going to tell you guys the story that has been my past year or at least the past 357 day (close enough) Ill update this as the days go by. I hope this story can serve as awareness. Adding this experience into a story has greatly helped me. So I figured Id let it be heard. After all we are all stranger here. I am in no say a writer or an author so excuse grammar and such. Please drop a comment for some feedback/thoughts.
Mirrors
It was the summer of the year 2016 and high school was finally over. I had made it. Through all the bull shit, the school work, the drama.. best of all I had the girl, sorta. Jordan was the girl of my dreams. Three years; six months, we were the impossible high school sweethearts. My friends were vast, success seemed imminent, the unknown journey ahead into the realm of my college career. See when you have a life that seems perfect, you give off the sense of transparency. You have everything and nothing to hide right? You're happy and everyone sees you as this perfect person.. but just as a mirror only reflects the outside image, I was hollow inside. Empty. I can recall constant restless nights of pain, raw emotion; discomfort in my own skin.. I wasnt this person that the mirror reflected. Just as a minuscule crack that could cripple the integrity of my future. I was a grenade with the pin pulled, waiting to let go.
Depression was never something that I had considered. Never something I could fathom or even recognize in the lives of others. This may seem peculiar but even in the depths of this clear and dark depression, it never entered my mind. After all no one wants to be depressed. No one wants to think they could possibly be that low in their life. See depression is very widely misunderstood. A lot of times people recognize stress and depression as similar or even the same. Stress can however be serve and a sure department on ones life. But with that being said stress can easily be relieved. Depression on the other hand is more deeply rooted. Lets go back to the idea of a mirror. If a mirror is scratched, just at the surface, it can easily be polished and restored to its original glamour. Much as stress can be dealt with swiftly. Life gets rough and and you feel overwhelmed but at the end of the day there is tomorrow to bring a light to the end of the tunnel, and you carry on, rejuvenated. Depression is much different. Think of depression as a small crack in a mirror. The mirror is now damaged. It is not ruined by any means but no longer can be flawless again. That crack may now lead to other cracks. Suddenly the mirror isnt reflecting its subject as it should. Its distorts, confuses, and even ruins it. Every crack further adding to its permanent scarring and distortion. This is depression. There is no cure to depression, there isnt a polish that can buff it out. Only acceptance. Scars can be hidden from its relentless torture, but never forgotten. Dot get me wrong, just be cash someone is deppresed does not mean they will forever be. It is however a journey to find happiness and can be a very long one at that.
Just like most things in our human lives, acceptance is key. I was depressed, severely depressed. Had I known this, the outcome would of been much, much different.
Anyway, back to the reason you clicked on this topic. Im going to tell you guys the story that has been my past year or at least the past 357 day (close enough) Ill update this as the days go by. I hope this story can serve as awareness. Adding this experience into a story has greatly helped me. So I figured Id let it be heard. After all we are all stranger here. I am in no say a writer or an author so excuse grammar and such. Please drop a comment for some feedback/thoughts.
Mirrors
It was the summer of the year 2016 and high school was finally over. I had made it. Through all the bull shit, the school work, the drama.. best of all I had the girl, sorta. Jordan was the girl of my dreams. Three years; six months, we were the impossible high school sweethearts. My friends were vast, success seemed imminent, the unknown journey ahead into the realm of my college career. See when you have a life that seems perfect, you give off the sense of transparency. You have everything and nothing to hide right? You're happy and everyone sees you as this perfect person.. but just as a mirror only reflects the outside image, I was hollow inside. Empty. I can recall constant restless nights of pain, raw emotion; discomfort in my own skin.. I wasnt this person that the mirror reflected. Just as a minuscule crack that could cripple the integrity of my future. I was a grenade with the pin pulled, waiting to let go.
Depression was never something that I had considered. Never something I could fathom or even recognize in the lives of others. This may seem peculiar but even in the depths of this clear and dark depression, it never entered my mind. After all no one wants to be depressed. No one wants to think they could possibly be that low in their life. See depression is very widely misunderstood. A lot of times people recognize stress and depression as similar or even the same. Stress can however be serve and a sure department on ones life. But with that being said stress can easily be relieved. Depression on the other hand is more deeply rooted. Lets go back to the idea of a mirror. If a mirror is scratched, just at the surface, it can easily be polished and restored to its original glamour. Much as stress can be dealt with swiftly. Life gets rough and and you feel overwhelmed but at the end of the day there is tomorrow to bring a light to the end of the tunnel, and you carry on, rejuvenated. Depression is much different. Think of depression as a small crack in a mirror. The mirror is now damaged. It is not ruined by any means but no longer can be flawless again. That crack may now lead to other cracks. Suddenly the mirror isnt reflecting its subject as it should. Its distorts, confuses, and even ruins it. Every crack further adding to its permanent scarring and distortion. This is depression. There is no cure to depression, there isnt a polish that can buff it out. Only acceptance. Scars can be hidden from its relentless torture, but never forgotten. Dot get me wrong, just be cash someone is deppresed does not mean they will forever be. It is however a journey to find happiness and can be a very long one at that.
Just like most things in our human lives, acceptance is key. I was depressed, severely depressed. Had I known this, the outcome would of been much, much different.
Last edited by HTTK ; edited 1 time in total
#2. Posted:
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Depression and anxiety sucks
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#3. Posted:
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Well it's a story about being sad after a breakup I know that for sure.
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#4. Posted:
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kerrry wrote Well it's a story about being sad after a breakup I know that for sure.
Youre in for a loop if you keep reading then lol
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#5. Posted:
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Motto: existence is futile
Motto: existence is futile
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Motto: existence is futile
I'm confused when you say there's no cure to depression when there is, but it's natural you don't just get depression and stay sad forever we've all had depression but it's how you deal with it and how your views of negativity stand, I have a lot of stuff that has made me depressed but I know personally that things can't be bad forever so I find dealing with my problems very easily.
I have a lot of things to be sad about right now but it's my outlook on the world the view that regardless what happens eventually it can only be so bad eventually you will have something good happen to you. DOn't let depression succumb you, think about the future and the now. Anything you may carry from the past drop it because that happened days months and years ago why are you still holding on when you can just let that weight off so when new obstacles in life come your way you can properly handle them.
I have a lot of things to be sad about right now but it's my outlook on the world the view that regardless what happens eventually it can only be so bad eventually you will have something good happen to you. DOn't let depression succumb you, think about the future and the now. Anything you may carry from the past drop it because that happened days months and years ago why are you still holding on when you can just let that weight off so when new obstacles in life come your way you can properly handle them.
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#6. Posted:
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Petite wrote I'm confused when you say there's no cure to depression when there is, but it's natural you don't just get depression and stay sad forever we've all had depression but it's how you deal with it and how your views of negativity stand, I have a lot of stuff that has made me depressed but I know personally that things can't be bad forever so I find dealing with my problems very easily.
I have a lot of things to be sad about right now but it's my outlook on the world the view that regardless what happens eventually it can only be so bad eventually you will have something good happen to you. DOn't let depression succumb you, think about the future and the now. Anything you may carry from the past drop it because that happened days months and years ago why are you still holding on when you can just let that weight off so when new obstacles in life come your way you can properly handle them.
There isnt a cure to depression. Scars left from going through any major depression is permanent.
Does that mean you will be depressed for ever and itll never go away? No. I am simply just stating that this chapter of my life can never be altered. 20 years from now the hell I lived will still be there.
To further explain, I cannot remove my several attempts of suicide from my past.
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#7. Posted:
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Depression can be treated and beaten. My years of depression were from ages 12 through 16 (when a person begins to try and socially be accepted). I always felt left out, unaccepted; a reject. After my third attempt of trying to take my life, my parents finally got me some help once they realized it wasn't "just a phase"; I went to two psychologists during the span of two years. I also went to some seminars about self-confidence, acceptance, etcetera and these mechanisms really helped. Before those seminars and psychologic help, I couldn't look people in the eye when talking. I couldn't be socially "normal" because of how low my self-esteem really was. I didn't want to leave my house and the only thing keeping me sane were videogames and an Internet life in which I could hide behind a fictional character and really express how depressed and suicidal I was.
To this day, I don't hate my parents for getting me the help I needed. Of course, some parents don't think much about these issues in their children as they see it sometimes "as a phase that'll pass". Help CAN be found and help IS there, you can find it or you can get someone to help you find it.
Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope everything gets better in your life.
To this day, I don't hate my parents for getting me the help I needed. Of course, some parents don't think much about these issues in their children as they see it sometimes "as a phase that'll pass". Help CAN be found and help IS there, you can find it or you can get someone to help you find it.
Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope everything gets better in your life.
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#8. Posted:
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Nowhere wroteDepression can be treated and beaten. My years of depression were from ages 12 through 16 (when a person begins to try and socially be accepted). I always felt left out, unaccepted; a reject. After my third attempt of trying to take my life, my parents finally got me some help once they realized it wasn't "just a phase"; I went to two psychologists during the span of two years. I also went to some seminars about self-confidence, acceptance, etcetera and these mechanisms really helped. Before those seminars and psychologic help, I couldn't look people in the eye when talking. I couldn't be socially "normal" because of how low my self-esteem really was. I didn't want to leave my house and the only thing keeping me sane were videogames and an Internet life in which I could hide behind a fictional character and really express how depressed and suicidal I was.
To this day, I don't hate my parents for getting me the help I needed. Of course, some parents don't think much about these issues in their children as they see it sometimes "as a phase that'll pass". Help CAN be found and help IS there, you can find it or you can get someone to help you find it.
Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope everything gets better in your life.
Again I am only generalizing depression as something that cannot be cured. I have come out of my depression but the experiences I went through have still permanently damaged my life.
I am glad to here that through your parents help you have overcame this terrible state of mind!
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#9. Posted:
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I get what you're saying. The events that happened in your life during the depressed phase will always have a place in your mind and in your life. They mark you and leave a very deep mark. What matters is that you're past it.
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#10. Posted:
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Motto: existence is futile
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That's still being cured, just cause you broke ur wrist and you couldnt work for a month doesnt mean ur wrist didnt cure even though it still happened in the past, once again it's keeping un-necessary weight in ur life.
I get where you're coming from like yea it happened but you can look back on stuff like that in 10 years and it could be a joke.
My girlfriend and I both attempted suicide at one point both of us clearly failed but we both look back at the problems we had back then and think nothing of it. I almost ended my own life like I should be dead but now that doesnt even effect me get what im saying.
I went from not caring if I was dead to lets just drop the bs from the past and move on I don't dwell over any of that and I never will.
I get where you're coming from like yea it happened but you can look back on stuff like that in 10 years and it could be a joke.
My girlfriend and I both attempted suicide at one point both of us clearly failed but we both look back at the problems we had back then and think nothing of it. I almost ended my own life like I should be dead but now that doesnt even effect me get what im saying.
I went from not caring if I was dead to lets just drop the bs from the past and move on I don't dwell over any of that and I never will.
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