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Funny Lines from Step Brothers.
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Funny Lines from Step Brothers.Posted:
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Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 02, 201013Year Member
Posts: 516
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Here are a few of my favorite lines from Step Brothers.
If you know of more please feel free to post them below and i will at them.
Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta **** one, marry one, kill one, go!
Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to **** shit up!
Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that ****!
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!
Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We could hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you ******!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!
Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?
Brennan Huff: This house is a **** prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed ****!
Sporting Goods Manager: [after Dale finishes his very prolonged fart] Was that a fart?
Dale Doback: I don't know.
Sporting Goods Manager: I can taste it. On my tongue.
Dale Doback: Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.
Sporting Goods Manager: Is that onion? Onion and... Onion and ketchup.
Dale Doback: It stinks. And this is a small room.
Brennan Huff: Shit.
Sporting Goods Manager: Okay. Now the tuxedos seem kind of **** up.
Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the **** up!
Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Brennan Huff: Hey Derek, you know what's good for shoulder pain?
Derek: What?
Brennan Huff: If you lick my butt hole.
Alice: I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.
Dale Doback: The only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
[about Robert]
Brennan Huff: I'm not gonna call him Dad.
Nancy Huff: Brennan, you're 39 years old. I wouldn't expect you to call him Dad.
Brennan Huff: Well I'm not going to, *ever*! Even if there's a fire!
Brennan Huff: I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.
Nancy Huff: You dont know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
Brennan Huff: It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazin that shit up everyday.
Brennan Huff: Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
Dale Doback: I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that's what you mean.
Nancy Huff: [Brennan and Dale are sleeping, Nancy walks in to wake them up] Guys. Guys. Guys!
Brennan Huff: [Both guys wake up and quote last line from their dreams] I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.
Dale Doback: The clown has no penis.
Dr. Robert Doback: I know it seems hard, but it's the best thing for both of you. We do it because we love you.
Dale Doback: Dad, I'm doing this because I love you: **** you!
Dale Doback: Hey man. Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff: [Brennan nods his head]
Brennan Huff: Nope.
Dale Doback: It's just weird, 'cause, it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset.
Brennan Huff: Yeah, that is weird, 'cause I didn't touch 'em.
Dale Doback: [Dale throws Brennan's feet off the couch]
Brennan Huff: Hey!
Dale Doback: [angrily] Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff: Hey, knock it off!
Dale Doback: I know you touched my drumstick, 'cause the left one has a chip in it.
Brennan Huff: Are you **** crazy, man? You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.
Dale Doback: **** you Brennan! I know you touched my drumset, and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it.
Brennan Huff: Get out of my face, or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass!
Dale Doback: You swear on your mom's life that you didn't touch it then!
Brennan Huff: I don't have to swear to shit!
Dale Doback: That's 'cause you **** touched my drumset! 'Cause I know COPS doesn't start 'till 4:00!
Brennan Huff: [Brennan begins to leave the room]
Dale Doback: Where you going?
Brennan Huff: I'm going upstairs... 'cause I'm gonna put my nutsack, on your drumset! Okay?
[Brennan continues to walk upstairs towards his drumset]
Dale Doback: If you do that - I'm warning you, right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife!
Nancy Huff: You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs.
Brennan Huff: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on."
Dale Doback: That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper!
Brennan Huff: Look, I didn't touch your drum set, okay?
Dale Doback: I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.
[Dale and Brennan are in beds next to each other]
Dale Doback: [whispering] Hey, you awake?
Brennan Huff: [also whispering] Yeah.
Dale Doback: I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
Brennan Huff: Well that's fine. Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks ass.
Dale Doback: Well the only reason you're living here, is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: [raising his voice] Hey ya'll don't say that!
Dale Doback: Shut up! You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded.
Brennan Huff: Just shut up!
Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed ****!
Dale Doback: [Dale turns his face to Brennan] Oh yeah?
Brennan Huff: [Brennan turns his face to Dale] Yeah.
Dale Doback: I'm a curly-headed ****?
Brennan Huff: Yeah. You better not go to sleep, cause as soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you square in the face.
Dale Doback: I hope you stay still when you sleep, cause I'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the shit out of you.
[Dale turns away from Brennan]
Dale Doback: I want you out of my **** house!
Dale Doback: We're in the bathroom!
Alice: This'll just take a minute. There's really little you can do about it. Let me just hop on.
[suddenly opens his pants and mounts him against the wall]
Dale Doback: It's all slippery!
If you know of more please feel free to post them below and i will at them.
Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta **** one, marry one, kill one, go!
Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to **** shit up!
Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that ****!
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!
Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We could hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you ******!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!
Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?
Brennan Huff: This house is a **** prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed ****!
Sporting Goods Manager: [after Dale finishes his very prolonged fart] Was that a fart?
Dale Doback: I don't know.
Sporting Goods Manager: I can taste it. On my tongue.
Dale Doback: Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.
Sporting Goods Manager: Is that onion? Onion and... Onion and ketchup.
Dale Doback: It stinks. And this is a small room.
Brennan Huff: Shit.
Sporting Goods Manager: Okay. Now the tuxedos seem kind of **** up.
Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the **** up!
Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Brennan Huff: Hey Derek, you know what's good for shoulder pain?
Derek: What?
Brennan Huff: If you lick my butt hole.
Alice: I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.
Dale Doback: The only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
[about Robert]
Brennan Huff: I'm not gonna call him Dad.
Nancy Huff: Brennan, you're 39 years old. I wouldn't expect you to call him Dad.
Brennan Huff: Well I'm not going to, *ever*! Even if there's a fire!
Brennan Huff: I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.
Nancy Huff: You dont know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
Brennan Huff: It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazin that shit up everyday.
Brennan Huff: Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
Dale Doback: I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that's what you mean.
Nancy Huff: [Brennan and Dale are sleeping, Nancy walks in to wake them up] Guys. Guys. Guys!
Brennan Huff: [Both guys wake up and quote last line from their dreams] I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.
Dale Doback: The clown has no penis.
Dr. Robert Doback: I know it seems hard, but it's the best thing for both of you. We do it because we love you.
Dale Doback: Dad, I'm doing this because I love you: **** you!
Dale Doback: Hey man. Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff: [Brennan nods his head]
Brennan Huff: Nope.
Dale Doback: It's just weird, 'cause, it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset.
Brennan Huff: Yeah, that is weird, 'cause I didn't touch 'em.
Dale Doback: [Dale throws Brennan's feet off the couch]
Brennan Huff: Hey!
Dale Doback: [angrily] Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff: Hey, knock it off!
Dale Doback: I know you touched my drumstick, 'cause the left one has a chip in it.
Brennan Huff: Are you **** crazy, man? You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.
Dale Doback: **** you Brennan! I know you touched my drumset, and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it.
Brennan Huff: Get out of my face, or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass!
Dale Doback: You swear on your mom's life that you didn't touch it then!
Brennan Huff: I don't have to swear to shit!
Dale Doback: That's 'cause you **** touched my drumset! 'Cause I know COPS doesn't start 'till 4:00!
Brennan Huff: [Brennan begins to leave the room]
Dale Doback: Where you going?
Brennan Huff: I'm going upstairs... 'cause I'm gonna put my nutsack, on your drumset! Okay?
[Brennan continues to walk upstairs towards his drumset]
Dale Doback: If you do that - I'm warning you, right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife!
Nancy Huff: You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs.
Brennan Huff: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on."
Dale Doback: That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper!
Brennan Huff: Look, I didn't touch your drum set, okay?
Dale Doback: I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.
[Dale and Brennan are in beds next to each other]
Dale Doback: [whispering] Hey, you awake?
Brennan Huff: [also whispering] Yeah.
Dale Doback: I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
Brennan Huff: Well that's fine. Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks ass.
Dale Doback: Well the only reason you're living here, is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: [raising his voice] Hey ya'll don't say that!
Dale Doback: Shut up! You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded.
Brennan Huff: Just shut up!
Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed ****!
Dale Doback: [Dale turns his face to Brennan] Oh yeah?
Brennan Huff: [Brennan turns his face to Dale] Yeah.
Dale Doback: I'm a curly-headed ****?
Brennan Huff: Yeah. You better not go to sleep, cause as soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you square in the face.
Dale Doback: I hope you stay still when you sleep, cause I'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the shit out of you.
[Dale turns away from Brennan]
Dale Doback: I want you out of my **** house!
Dale Doback: We're in the bathroom!
Alice: This'll just take a minute. There's really little you can do about it. Let me just hop on.
[suddenly opens his pants and mounts him against the wall]
Dale Doback: It's all slippery!
The following 2 users thanked TTG_MURDOCK for this useful post:
TTG_Eckert (10-16-2010), TeRRoRiZe (10-16-2010)
#2. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 23, 201013Year Member
Posts: 3,509
Reputation Power: 156
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 23, 201013Year Member
Posts: 3,509
Reputation Power: 156
funniest movie ever nice post
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