During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."


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This might be an old one, but here goes. An old guy and his wife were at the doctors office. The doctor walks in and says, "I'm going to need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample." The old guy says, "What?!" So the doctor asks again, "I'm going to need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample." The old guy says once again, "What?!" The old guy's wife finally speaks up and says, "In other words, he needs your drawers!" Buh Dum Tish..

Pete and Len who worked together were both laid off, so off they were to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Pete said, "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Pete $300 a week unemployment pay.
Len was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave him $600 a week.
When Pete finds out he is furious. He stormed back to find out why Len, his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor."

"What skill?" yelled Pete. "I sew the elastic on. He pulls on it and says, 'Yep, diesel fitter.'"

Gun Control
Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'
Then, little Johnny, piped up from the back of the room and said: ''Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!'

THSee wrote Gun Control
Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'
Then, little Johnny, piped up from the back of the room and said: ''Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!'

my vote goes to this guy for sure. lmao

why did the chicken cross the road?

too get to the other side......


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SOOOOOOO FUNNY THO

:trollin: :trollin: :trollin:

Very Immature And Not Good At All But Find It Somehow Funny. I DONT LIKE THESE TYPE OF JOKES SO DONT GIVE HATE TO ME

Whats the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old

-Wolverine wrote Very Immature And Not Good At All But Find It Somehow Funny. I DONT LIKE THESE TYPE OF JOKES SO DONT GIVE HATE TO ME

Whats the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old

SHEEEEEEIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT

wanna hear a joke ... womens rights lolololol jk jk women are great