GeneralAny advise after relationship breakup?Posted:

AD4M
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Hey guys, has anyone got any advise?

4 years down the drain effectively. I'm day 2 in from the breakup and it's rough, really rough. I've been blocked on everything, no reply to texts...

My main problem is it's constantly on my mind, i'm 2 days in I know and it will get easier but is there any advise?

Thanks

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Mini_Ninja (06-22-2020), JoeI (06-21-2020), Geck (06-21-2020)
#2. Posted:
Jacob
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well, how bad was it?

either way, you have got to try to find something to flood your mind with. you wont forget the breakup obviously but life goes on and you meet new people. you made each others past 4 years a happy 4 years i assume? idk how bad it was so i cant just say maybe it wasn't meant to be because it very well could have been.
#3. Posted:
Geck
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I've always been on the other end of a breakup. I don't know if my suggestions adequately fit your specific situation but I recommend going to workout, hang out with any of those friends you've lost time with, and set a new goal in your short term of life. Don't think about it all the time. You probably don't realize it right now and neither did I right after a breakup but there are so many other partners and better ones as well. A big word of advice which I know is very hard to do is to stop contact. Don't make it look like they were the only thing keeping you going and try your hardest to go about your day. If they really want you back then they will contact you!
#4. Posted:
AD4M
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J_ wrotewell, how bad was it?

either way, you have got to try to find something to flood your mind with. you wont forget the breakup obviously but life goes on and you meet new people. you made each others past 4 years a happy 4 years i assume? idk how bad it was so i cant just say maybe it wasn't meant to be because it very well could have been.
The story behind it all as to why we broke up would take a life time.

Things happened 2 years back which I'm sure you'll guess what, it happened to both of us whilst together. I did a lot worse back 2 years ago and we had a few weeks apart, it taken me ages to persuade her that things will get better and it did. Ever since then, every argument we would have the thing that happened 2 years ago would be brought up. Friday gone we had a argument and it brought up but this time it was too far.

She caved in and couldn't face it. Everything was done over text which is the bit that really hurts.

You're right in saying I need to flood my mind but so far it won't budge.
#5. Posted:
islandfarms
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AD4M wrote
J_ wrotewell, how bad was it?

either way, you have got to try to find something to flood your mind with. you wont forget the breakup obviously but life goes on and you meet new people. you made each others past 4 years a happy 4 years i assume? idk how bad it was so i cant just say maybe it wasn't meant to be because it very well could have been.
The story behind it all as to why we broke up would take a life time.

Things happened 2 years back which I'm sure you'll guess what, it happened to both of us whilst together. I did a lot worse back 2 years ago and we had a few weeks apart, it taken me ages to persuade her that things will get better and it did. Ever since then, every argument we would have the thing that happened 2 years ago would be brought up. Friday gone we had a argument and it brought up but this time it was too far.

She caved in and couldn't face it. Everything was done over text which is the bit that really hurts.

You're right in saying I need to flood my mind but so far it won't budge.





If there's any interest in recovering the relationship I recommend doing solo counselling then into couples. I've been with my girl for almost 7 years now. But god dam was the start messed up. We finally after 4years went to counselling and then couples. We sorted out all of our issues and finally were able to move past the horrible things we did to each other. But if you aren't interested in repairing, find new things to do. Such as music or drawing or even reading. Flood the mind you got this!
#6. Posted:
Jacob
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AD4M wrote
J_ wrotewell, how bad was it?

either way, you have got to try to find something to flood your mind with. you wont forget the breakup obviously but life goes on and you meet new people. you made each others past 4 years a happy 4 years i assume? idk how bad it was so i cant just say maybe it wasn't meant to be because it very well could have been.
The story behind it all as to why we broke up would take a life time.

Things happened 2 years back which I'm sure you'll guess what, it happened to both of us whilst together. I did a lot worse back 2 years ago and we had a few weeks apart, it taken me ages to persuade her that things will get better and it did. Ever since then, every argument we would have the thing that happened 2 years ago would be brought up. Friday gone we had a argument and it brought up but this time it was too far.

She caved in and couldn't face it. Everything was done over text which is the bit that really hurts.

You're right in saying I need to flood my mind but so far it won't budge.


honestly man id look into having a face to face convo with her, no texts. like i said, whats meant to be is meant to be. it takes double the usual effort from both sides to fix a relationship
#7. Posted:
AD4M
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islandfarms wrote
AD4M wrote
J_ wrotewell, how bad was it?

either way, you have got to try to find something to flood your mind with. you wont forget the breakup obviously but life goes on and you meet new people. you made each others past 4 years a happy 4 years i assume? idk how bad it was so i cant just say maybe it wasn't meant to be because it very well could have been.
The story behind it all as to why we broke up would take a life time.

Things happened 2 years back which I'm sure you'll guess what, it happened to both of us whilst together. I did a lot worse back 2 years ago and we had a few weeks apart, it taken me ages to persuade her that things will get better and it did. Ever since then, every argument we would have the thing that happened 2 years ago would be brought up. Friday gone we had a argument and it brought up but this time it was too far.

She caved in and couldn't face it. Everything was done over text which is the bit that really hurts.

You're right in saying I need to flood my mind but so far it won't budge.





If there's any interest in recovering the relationship I recommend doing solo counselling then into couples. I've been with my girl for almost 7 years now. But god dam was the start messed up. We finally after 4years went to counselling and then couples. We sorted out all of our issues and finally were able to move past the horrible things we did to each other. But if you aren't interested in repairing, find new things to do. Such as music or drawing or even reading. Flood the mind you got this!
Wow awesome, really good to hear.

In my scenario, contact has been blocked so that won't be happening. Just a bit shitty COVID is around and most places are closed such as the gym. Thanks for the advise.

And you're right, I have got this!
#8. Posted:
Lounge
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I was in the same situation as you bro, Blocked on everything and it sucked so bad. I have been single for 4 months and yeah it gets easier but i still think of my ex alot. I got unblocked on instagram a few weeks ago and tried talking but kept arguing. Just do what makes you happy and stay positive.
#9. Posted:
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#10. Posted:
AD4M
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Lounge wroteI was in the same situation as you bro, Blocked on everything and it sucked so bad. I have been single for 4 months and yeah it gets easier but i still think of my ex alot. I got unblocked on instagram a few weeks ago and tried talking but kept arguing. Just do what makes you happy and stay positive.
Yeah I bet. What's constantly on my mind is when is she going to start talking to other people? It's that anxiety build up I guess.

This is the end of the road from us however.

Always thought I was strong mentally, I guess not lol! I'm sure I'll come out just fine on the other side!
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