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Funny/crazy work stories
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Funny/crazy work storiesPosted:

kamilca
  • Winter 2018
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Motto: Beware of western spies brothers
I thought it would be fun to tell you some tales of craziness from my time in retail I had worked in Sainsbury on deli and currently work nights at Asda ( UK version of walmart)

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Crazy poop lady

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So there I am, stacking shelves doing the grind making that cash. I hear shouting and swearing me being nosey as hell I walk to the end of my isle and see whats going on. I see ma boi shrek ( he looks like shrek ) the secuirty gaurd telling a woman she cant leave police are on the way. I then see this potatoe strip naked start shouting There you go have them back bitch He explains you still cant leave after some shouting and pushing she straight up drops a dump right there in front of like 60+ people trying to buy thier shopping. This wasnt just a dump it was more akin to a shotgun blast which was like idk 4 feet long, police arrived and took that crazy mf away. We had to opena fire door to let customers out that way as the front door was an exlcusion zone of danger turd


The Great Escape

We once had a dude get caught stealing he straight up hid from our security and even the police for a good solid 2 hours. This dude was like a ninja, hiding in the shadows, not seen not heard for a good 20 minutes at a time. After about 3 hours police just stood at each exit and waited. We got a complaint from a customer that someone is inside the ceiling in the public toilet. Turns out dude had enough of being on the shop floor and took to the ceiling. We had panel ceiling you can like push up and get inside. So he hid up there trying to hide, I mean I dont even know how he didnt fall through the ceiling because they are so fragile.


Pizza girl

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When I worked on deli I was ya boi when it came to pizza I would give you extra cheese extra toppings whatever aslong as you were nice to me yano. So we had this girl who would come in, she was a bit odd but always super friendly always said hi how are you etc, anyway she would always ask for a 14inch deep pizza with just sauce no cheese no toppics. She would ask for it in a pizza box rather then the wrapping. Since she was alright I would do it. Eventally we had police come through and question a few of our workers. To see if she if her discription matched a video. Turns out this girl was buying them then going out taking it out the box and putting it through random peoples letterbox.

Drunk Worker

We had a worker lets call him bob, he wasnt the brightest nor the cleanest dude. Often came into work drunk would hide booze in his locker stuff like that I dont know how he didnt get fired sooner I really dont but basically one night we are all working one our isles making it look nice and I hear my boss at the time shout wtf and then the lovly sound of throwing up. Turns out Bob straight up shit himself and then kept working it was all over the isle on products on the floor over him. We had to close the store and have it deep cleaned. It was pretty grim.

Vending machine thief

We had someone who would regularly steal from the vending machine but not a few sweets here and there they would straight up empty the whole thing like everthing inside would be taken. After a few weeks of the vending machine bandit taking our yummy food we started putting up notices and even store manager got involed. We still to this day dont know who the vending mahcine thief is, theory is he has one of those keys he just litrally opens it takes it and leaves.

Srop your crazy work stories below for us to all read and laugh at
#2. Posted:
TikToK_LavishCOD
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Damn sounds like you work in a nice place lmao
#3. Posted:
Whom
  • Summer 2019
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Poop girl ting

So it was a normal day at work everything was going well. This was at the time i worked in Ikea btw. And i was due to finish at 7pm. It gets to around 6:45pm and i am getting ready to leave and go home when the security call for me and pull me into their office. Now i knew this had nothing to do with me because i was good friends with all of them and we had a good laugh in and around work. However they pulled me in and showed my something on the CCTV. It was me walking around as i do but i walked passed a girl taking a poo in the middle of the shop and i didnt even notice. Now this girl was like 14-15 so i have no idea why maybe she just couldnt hold it in but still... I just walked right passed and didnt even see her.

And i left at 7:30pm so it was a crappy day all round.
#4. Posted:
SCT
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Wow lol, sounds like a lot of fun!
#5. Posted:
TOXIC
  • Summer 2023
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Some good story's right there fam, you should write a book lol.
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