Thoughts?... Life?..
By Kels BorutoUzumaki
To those who go thru depression and Dailey struggles...

I'm literally sitting here typing this as I listen to Post Malone. Thinking back to when my mom was alive it'll mark 3 years September 28th 2018, still hard to believe its been three long years events thou it feels like it was still yesterday.
Is it when someone dies or something dramatic in our lives happen really have an effect on everyone in their life someway?, Is it that the ONE person who was most dear to our hearts and once they pass it feels like the heart is forever in a way broken into pieces meaning that part of the life who we where will never be the same. Like a broken glass mirror that Brooke into a million pieces laying on the floor, and it seems after a dramatic even happened or someone that passed away you try to pick pup those little shardes of glass to rebuild your heart back together as best as you can. It'll never be the same obviously that some who was dear to use at one point is gone the pain will always remain locked up deep inside yet you still have the memories, pictures, or things they left behind that we have. But I myself don't like opening up that box of memories that I keep locked deep inside me of my mom honestly... It's just to hard to relieve the great memories it just creates pain for me where I miss her and you get caught in the gaze of the memory where feel like your reliving that day again but when you come to reality you remember that was the passed and it's better to live on and not remember all that.
Seem some people in the family those maybe around them as well seem to brush off that persons passing like nothing. If some people would just understand a ones mind what happens to them after they loose someone that dear (Me for example loosing my mom who was my best friend and I was her ONLY child). That they feel that basically you got hit with a giant boulder. And the inner pain inside one feels is a feeling of a black hole in the heart left in the the darkness of vast emptiness. That yet one somewhat battles every single day just to want to get up and face the day. If one could hear those deep thoughts of heartache or inner pain or something. It's like the deep vast ocean of blackness. Yet here we are the ones who battles everyday with our own selves trying to keep our heads up just to even smile and step into the sun. No one truly understands ones own emptiness inside how they truly feel. And some act like their fine but each day their even lucky to stand on their two own feet to go and battle the new day. It's like ones sense of the world left them as soon as whatever happened to them as they walk a path that crumbles beneath their feet. To even feel one emotion is a rarity at times I feel sometimes and sometimes notice. Sometimes ONE person can change that and be their sun to warm the emptiness inside them, give them a new meaning a purpose a willing to fight, a reason to be here. I don't thank my fiance enough for what he has done for me and truly I respect him and love him, he has helped me thru so much of what I've been thru, he always there to pull me up when Im down and makes me smile when I fall into my own darkness. I know we both help each other up. He lit up my heart again to feel and have a purpose, and Zack really I thank you for everything... So when one person can think that someone life is roses and chocolate and not to give them any mind or attention and brush them off they should just remember most of us have been broken and fight within everyday. As those look into the mirror of who they once where it's a ghost of the former self looking back and the new person giving a new identity.