The events of this story take place not long ago, however perhaps
a time to distant to be recollected by many of the TTG members of the day.
This is the story of Sean, although perhaps not the Sean we
all know and love today, but the Sean as he was when the site
Sean, or going by his birth name, Sean, was only a
mere mortal playing around on his computer, when out of nowhere
an idea that would later shape the lives of millions popped into his head.
He would create the world's most extensive online yoga
and body health forum the internet had ever seen.
He had hoped to spread his love of the art of yoga and looked
forward to the millions of members joining the site and submitting
tips and videos to aid others in the art of yoga.
Unfortunately, after several months of the site up and running, only
one member ever joined the site, his username was hippie, although
his real name was 2legit2quit. After a brief period of activity from
hippie, his account went inactive.
Put off by the failure that was his yoga site, Sean went into
a deep deep depression of doritoes and mountain dew. He would not
have made it out of this were it not for a miracle.
Rummaging through his 48 pack of mountain dew, he came to
the horrible realization that he was completely out of the dew.
In a panic, Sean sped from his intense game of tetris down into
his fridge and looked for any sign of the sugary drink.
There, in the back, behind his gallons of gatorade was a single,
albeit very old looking can of mountain dew. Excited at his finding, Sean
quickly grabbed the cold can, but before opening it, he noticed some
dust stuck to the side.
Sean brushed off the dust and the can began to shake and vibrate
until it fell to the floor with a thud. The can burst into many pieces
and out popped a very unlikely visitor.
A man, much larger than the can could have held, was now standing
where the can once was. "My name is telli, the all-powerful developer" said
the man with a grin on his face.
A large pit was left in Sean tiled floor, angry over this, Sean was
about to yell at the person now known as telli, but before he could,
telli said "I would like to help you make a website."
A new hope for Sean's yoga site had finally arrived. Although he needed
a new name for the site. His eyes darted around the room looking for inspiration.
Looking at his computer Sean came up with the word tech, and the new
pit in his floor...
"TheTechPit is what it should be called!" yelled Sean triumphantly.
telli agreed the name was great, and set out to develop the new
forum. Sean was more excited than ever, thinking about the success of his
new yoga forum.
It wasn't for another three days that Sean made a horrid realization.
He actually knew nothing about yoga, or anything of the sort.
Laying in bed one night, he strained to come up with a better topic
for the forums before they went live (for telli need not sleep
and worked with the pace of 50 barn swallows).
Sean, looking at his gaming consoles, thought up a brilliant
idea to help with the forum. Instead of him having know about yoga,
he only needed to get someone who did know about it to help with the forum. But who?
Remembering his old site, only one name came to mind. Hippie.
Gathering a ladder, rope, and a baseball bat, Sean set out
on his search for hippie.
The way that Sean ascertained the location of hippie is still
a mystery, even to telli. But what is certain, is that Sean
broke into hippie's house and kidnapped him.
Lugging hippie's unconscious body back into his house, telli
was immediately concerned about Sean's mental health and why he
had decided to assault and kidnap someone to help with the forum.
"He'll work for cheap" was the only response uttered by Sean.
Hippie was tied to a chair in Sean's basement, and once conscious,
was asked about his knowledge of yoga. "I don't know anything about
yoga" said hippie. In shock and anger, Sean stormed upstairs and
He sat miserably for several hours pondering this new situation he was in.
Not the situation involving kidnapping charges, but rather the situation
that he, nor anyone around him was familiar with yoga.
After getting 300 kills in a game of COD 4, Sean, who was now exhausted, retired
to bed for the night. He did not sleep well however, he had to think up an idea for the
In one of his light bouts of sleep, a vision came to him. It was of him playing Xbox,
and having millions of a people trying to join his lobby, frantically trying to meet
the legend that he was. What if... instead of yoga, Sean created a website about his favorite thing... Video games! Yes that was it! He would be world famous for a video game forum!
Once this idea finally struck him, he settled in his sleep, and woke no more that night.
Upon the first morning light Sean was quick to wake and move downstairs.
"Video game forum" Sean swiftly said to telli, who just nodded in recognition and
immediately began work on the new "thetechpit" website. Sean moved towards the basement, and
went downstairs to find hippie barely conscious from dehydration. Sean had indeed left
hippie a water bottle for the night, however a water bottle containing water would have
likely been better.
"Do you know about video games?" said Sean, getting uncomfortably close to the baseball bat
that sat off to the right of hippie. Knowing that an argument would be futile, hippie just
nodded. "Excellent!" cried Sean, walking away from the baseball bat and dragging a very old,
and very dusty computer out from a closet. "You are my new admin!" decreed Sean, and hippie
So it was that TheTechPit was born. Sean was very pleased about how quickly membership
grew on the website, but there was also a concern. The number of members was quickly
overwhelming the number of staff members. Sean tried making other members staff, but they
always disappointed him. The only one who did a good job was hippie, because Sean could
keep a close eye on him since he was tied down in the basement.
Sean brought this idea up to hippie one night while hippie was getting his daily ration
of food. One slice of bread, a small dab of peanut butter, and a small glass of concentrated
water. hippie had once asked what "concentrated water" even was, but the black and blue
mark around his eye that followed that question taught him not to ask such things.
"We need more staff, and loyal staff at that" huffed Sean while throwing the stale bread
into hippie's lap.
"Yeah that stinks" said hippie, just trying to enjoy his small meal and hoping Sean
would just leave him be.
"I'll bring them here!" cried Sean while startling hippie. hippie, not wanting to see this happen to anyone else, was about to speak up, but thought better of it. Besides, perhaps the
company wouldn't be to bad.
So off Sean went into the night. Speed, DaleUK, Naggy, Jebus, Ant, Mortar. The list goes
on and on up until this very day. No one is quite sure how he finds them. Still not even
telli, who has taken up residence in Sean's attic, a very luxurious position compared to the
basement. Chris, Potion, Prodigy, Nodus.... the list goes on.
Some have left the staff team, getting the "Retired Staff" badge. But they do not leave the basement, and will never regain their free will. Sean thought it could be... problematic if
the authorities were informed of what was happening behind the scenes of TheTechGame.com. They merely sit in the basement, with half the ration of food as the staff members, and are largely left to their own devices.
But I have done my duty, I have informed everyone of the events that transpired up until the
creation of this website we now find ourselves on. There are more stories though, like the
story of the great staff escape, or the story of the shoutbox. These will come in time however,
but for now, I must allow everyone to take in the true story of TheTechGame. Donations can be
sent to Sean's basement in the form of fresh, non-moldy bread, and regular unconcentrated water.
Thank you for your time.
yes this is true
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