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Relationship Help [ Long Story ]Posted:

uhLazj
  • Christmas!
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Some back story on my girlfriend and I:


Me and my girlfriend started dating towards the end of our Junior year in High school. We are now in our Freshman year of college and have been together for 1 year and 5 months almost exactly. We have always been very open with each other. Whether it was telling each other of how we are feeling, talking about each others past, if something was troubling us, if we made each other upset, etc etc etc you get the point. We have always been there for each other. We have both been through some really hard personal times while we were dating but we have always stuck by each other and we can both say the past year and 5 months have been the most happiest times of our life. As I said we are in College now, and we are lucky enough to be going to different colleges located in the same town, just 5 minutes away! So we are pretty stoked for our College adventure together as well. We have even talked about us in the future(don't worry we are not the crazy, young relationship that says, "We're gonna get married. Lets plan our lives together!" type of thing). Like I have never said it to her and she has never said it to me, but I feel as if we could maybe one day live our life together and she has some what hinted at it too. It is a very wild idea but yet I really hope it turns out that way, but I am also not the crazy boyfriend who will freak out and go mental if we break up. I understand there are more girls out there if this relationship doesn't workout.

Now that you guys have an understanding of our relationship is and has been, I would like to tell you guys why I am making this post:


So we are in our 4th week of college and we have been having so much fun. We are always hanging out with each other, sleeping over at each other's dorms, having cute dates, etc etc. We are really enjoying the new freedom of not being at home with out parents and it has been so amazing. Nothing seemed to be going wrong. We haven't been fighting at all, just fun banter and messing with each other type of things.
Well things changed a few days ago, and it really, and I mean REALLY threw me off guard. So we both had school things to do that day. It was monday and mondays for us we get a lot of school work each, and we have been using mondays as a type of "study day" where we wouldn't really talk or text much because we would be doing a lot of school things.
It was getting towards the end of the day and it was dinner time. I was going to get some fastfood for myself that night and I thought it would be cute to ask my girlfriend if she would like anything. Now this is the first time I talked to her that night, we haven't talked for about 8ish hours. I decided to Snapchat her and wait for her response while in my car.
Now for anyone who doesn't have Snapchat, Snapchat will let you know if someone has opened your "Snap" to them(imagine like a text message). And Snapchat has a location thing built in to the app where if the person has it enabled, you can see your friends location if you have it enabled as well, their locations update anytime they open the app. While I waiting in my car and waiting for her response, I usually tend to look at the Location thing because on the map, you can see what people in your town have posted and just in short words: see what the people and town around you have been up to.
Well I happen to notice something odd. My girlfriend's location, was not at her dorm. Her location had been updated at that moment I looked at it because she opened my message at that moment. It said she was at the store like 5 minutes away from her dorm. And for our relationship, that is odd. Very odd. No matter the situation, if we are happy, sad, mad, anything, we always tell each other if we go anywhere. That is just how we are. So I start panicking a little and just tried my best to ignore it because I thought maybe the location was just bugged or something. She responded to me, but not with a picture snap, she responded with a text. Basically adding on the list for me to be suspicious. Why would she respond to my picture snap with a text message? She has never done that before. It led me to believe she didn't want me to know where she was.
So while I am driving to get food, I kept looking at the location thing, and it said she was in the parking lot of her dorm a few minutes later, so I decided to surprise call her. She picks up, and right from the getgo it sounds odd. There was no background noise on her end. I have called her before when she was in her dorm and I could always hear something in the background, but this time there was nothing. That led to my suspicion. I started making small talk with her, just trying to keep the call going allowing enough time for me to get over to her parking lot, because at this point I am full of suspicion and my thoughts are going crazy with fear, stress, and anxiety. I then just ask her straight up on the phone, "Where are you right now?" and she says "I am at my dorm, why?". I then tell her where the Snapchat location thing is telling me where she was and is at that moment, and she denies that she left to the store and no she is not at her car. She did make a story of how earlier that day she did make a trip to her car to grab something. But I could tell that was bullshit, the way she was talking to did not sound like the way she usually talks. She then keeps trying to end our conversation, asking to hangup and this and that. I kept the conversation going till I got close enough to her parking lot, then I told her we could hangup. We did hangup. 30 seconds later I find her sitting in her car by herself.

I caught her lying to me where she was....


I get out my car and walk up to her's to confront her. She doesn't get out for a solid 5 minutes; probably shocked of the situation. She gets out and tries to explain her self. She told me this: She was really upset [because of personal issues]. She was going out for a drive [because she didn't want to be in her dorm and wanted to be alone] and she happened to open my snap while she was driving past the store. She claims she never went in or stopped at the store. She did not want to tell me she was going for a drive because she knew I would ask questions like "What is wrong?" etc etc. She claims she really, really did not want to talk about what was troubling her[because say if she is upset,
I will usually ask her what is wrong because I care about her].
***NOTE: In the past, there have been situations where there have been things in her personal life that really made her sad and that she has not told me right away. Just keep that in mind***
Everything italicized was her story. And yes, I do believe her story. From the note above, that is why i believe her story, but i am still left really hurt that she didn't tell me and that she lied to me, essentially to my face because I bet if I were to ask in person the day after the weird incident, she would have denied it. That is what really has me hurt, that she lied to me. It makes me wonder if she has lied to me before like this in the past. Makes me wonder what if her story is not true. I just need other people's opinions on the situation.
As of right now, it being Thursday and this event happening Monday, we have talked every day this then. Because i believe her story for the most part, so I have almost gotten over it. It's just that sometimes now, I am questioning where she is or if she is telling me the truth.

I would like to know your guys' and gals' opinions. Thank you for reading this. I know it was a long story, but I just felt the need to give ever little information about us and the situation. I will try my best to respond as quick as I can. I am doing school stuff soon, so i am not sure when I will be able to reply but I will for sure keep checking this as much as I can. Thank you again.
#2. Posted:
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Joined: Sep 05, 20126 Year Member
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well tbh, she mightved lied before but i dont think it was lies where she was cheating on u or anything.

she couldve been there and not want to talk about why she was there and not go through the amount to explain when she couldve just said she was in her room and have u just shrug it off so she didnt have to focus on that idk, she still lied. tell her to just be honest and ask if anything u think edgy is going is going on and if she really wants some alone to time to just tell u so u know thats all i got lol
#3. Posted:
NicknKickn
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I recommend posting this on reddit.com/r/relationships. Definitely a great place for relationship advice.
#4. Posted:
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interesting story
#5. Posted:
uhLazj
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CyberbuIIies wrotewell tbh, she mightved lied before but i dont think it was lies where she was cheating on u or anything.

she couldve been there and not want to talk about why she was there and not go through the amount to explain when she couldve just said she was in her room and have u just shrug it off so she didnt have to focus on that idk, she still lied. tell her to just be honest and ask if anything u think edgy is going is going on and if she really wants some alone to time to just tell u so u know thats all i got lol


Yeah that is basically what I have done. I don't think she is cheating on me either, or atleast I hope haha. But if you guys want an update, we have talked it out and so far this weekend with her has been really fun. I have pretty much gotten over it and we have been all good since. Thanks for any advice through PMs and for anyone who read.
#6. Posted:
jch
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i read this whole thing and my opinion on it is that you may be overthinking it.
you say that you guys are almost 1 year, 5 months so i doubt that she would throw that away by doing something sketchy.
maybe she just needed alone time, if anything like this happens again then i'd be worried.
#7. Posted:
MEMlS
  • Winter 2017
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***
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I pasted your story in this and listened to all of it.

(For people that dont like reading long stuff but are interested)
***


I think you are over reacting, I feel like she needs some space. People have their ups and downs and sometimes they don't want to talk to anyone and they don't want anyone to know whats happening.
#8. Posted:
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Give the girl some space, we all have our own secrets which we don't like to share or feel comfortable talking about, I also think you're over reacting, instead of being persistent towards her and asking her what's wrong, just comfort her and let her know you're there in her time of need, if she feels like she wants to talk about she'll open up. Everybody likes to be alone once in a while to think about what's going on in their lives. Just comfort her and let her know that you're there for her if she does ever want to talk about what's bothering her. I highly doubt it's something to worry about if she's in her car, alone.
#9. Posted:
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I have been with my girlfriend for over 3 years and for the first two i was like this with her and she was the same with me, i've come to realise that i shouldn't worry about her lying or cheating because the truth always comes out, no matter how hard you try hiding it
#10. Posted:
CoreyTaylor
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I think your overthinking the whole situation, as stated previously. If she loves you, she won't hurt you but don't go doing some beta-male stuff and getting overly insecure but make sure her stories check out. One thing, I've always learned was to trust my gut.
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