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#11. Posted:
BFV
  • Christmas!
Status: Offline
Joined: Jun 01, 201112Year Member
Posts: 784
Reputation Power: 229
Status: Offline
Joined: Jun 01, 201112Year Member
Posts: 784
Reputation Power: 229
Id like to enter please:

One of my personal favourites. Its long.

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.

When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Austria punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Austria do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.
Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
#12. Posted:
Chat
  • Christmas!
Status: Offline
Joined: Jan 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 7,910
Reputation Power: 7437
Status: Offline
Joined: Jan 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 7,910
Reputation Power: 7437
the only joke I could come up with is my life...

Good luck everyone <3 Thanks for doing this bud
#13. Posted:
oHusky
  • Fairy Master
Status: Offline
Joined: Oct 27, 20149Year Member
Posts: 2,495
Reputation Power: 1931
Status: Offline
Joined: Oct 27, 20149Year Member
Posts: 2,495
Reputation Power: 1931
Axify wrote Siri, why am I still single?
-
Siri activates front camera.

Congrats on being the first winner!
#14. Posted:
ManLikeChaad
  • Challenger
Status: Offline
Joined: Nov 30, 201112Year Member
Posts: 134
Reputation Power: 11
Status: Offline
Joined: Nov 30, 201112Year Member
Posts: 134
Reputation Power: 11
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised
#15. Posted:
Visxal
  • Blind Luck
Status: Offline
Joined: Nov 07, 20158Year Member
Posts: 2,261
Reputation Power: 332
Status: Offline
Joined: Nov 07, 20158Year Member
Posts: 2,261
Reputation Power: 332
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#16. Posted:
Lye
  • E3 2017
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 19, 201211Year Member
Posts: 3,624
Reputation Power: 226
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 19, 201211Year Member
Posts: 3,624
Reputation Power: 226
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and football?

Football's coming home
#17. Posted:
Dashii
  • Winter 2020
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 1,781
Reputation Power: 920
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 1,781
Reputation Power: 920
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#18. Posted:
cg270399
  • New Member
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 18, 20177Year Member
Posts: 22
Reputation Power: 0
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 18, 20177Year Member
Posts: 22
Reputation Power: 0
ur moms teeth are that yellow she spits butter
#19. Posted:
oHusky
  • Winter 2017
Status: Offline
Joined: Oct 27, 20149Year Member
Posts: 2,495
Reputation Power: 1931
Status: Offline
Joined: Oct 27, 20149Year Member
Posts: 2,495
Reputation Power: 1931
Petite wrote What did the egg say at the party

Omelette...

I hate my life


Second winner, congrats!
#20. Posted:
182
  • Gold Member
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 27, 20149Year Member
Posts: 1,853
Reputation Power: 611
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 27, 20149Year Member
Posts: 1,853
Reputation Power: 611
I'll enter if you kindly don't mind sir,

What do you call a snail on a ship?
- a snailer.

I'll just leave
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