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List of Hellen Keller jokesPosted:

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Here's a list of Hellen Keller jokes
No I didn't come up with these and yes I found them on the internet

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? Neither did she

How did Helen Keller burn her ear off? Answering the iron!

How did she burn the other one off? They called back!

What is Helen Kellers favorite color? Velcro

How come Helen Keller cant have kids? Because shes dead!

How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? Trying to read a stucco wall

Why cant Helen Keller drive a car? Shes a woman.

How did Helen Keller break her arm while in the car? Trying to read a stop sign going 80

Whats the name of Helen Kellers favorite book? Around the Block in 80 Days

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? Neither did she

How did Helen Keller drive her car? One hand on the wheel, the other on the road

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answering the stapler

How did Helen Kellers teachers punish her for talking in class? They made her wear mittens

Why didnt Helen Keller change her babys diaper? So she could always find him

Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear

How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? She shouted hysterically

Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad? Neither has she!

How do you tell if Helen Keller is alive? If you hear something fall down the stairs

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? Because she sings with the other!

Whats Helen Kellers excuse every time she loses a competition? She couldnt see

Why did Helen Kellers last relationship not work? Her boyfriend complained about how she never listened to his problems.

Why did Helen Keller eat her poop? She thought it was a candy bar.

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? She was a PC and got a virus

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it

Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes? Because she cant hear them anyway!

What is Helen Kellers favorite color? Black

Remember the Helen Keller doll? Youd wind her up and watch her walk into walls.

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand? So she can moan with her right hand

How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? Trying to read her own lips.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips

What do you call Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller playing tennis? Eternal love.

How can you tell if Helen Keller has brushed her teeth? By the Gleam in her eye.

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? She uses the other to sing with.

What was the worst day in Helen Kellers life? The day she burned her mouth, and couldnt taste anything, either.

How did Helen Keller drive a car? With one hand on the wheel, and one hand on the road.

What is Helen Kellers favorite mouthwash? Jergens lotion.

What did Helen Keller scream when she fell off the mountain? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Nymphdrumpherlmf.

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? By walking on her Braille books with golf shoes.

How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road!

Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.

Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

What is Helen Kellers favorite Convenience Store? WAAAWAAA

Why did Helen Kellers dog kill itself? You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuopoo

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.

How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!

If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?

Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad? Neither has she!

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back.

What did Helen Kellers room look like? She didnt know either

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie wonder? Endless love

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? So you can read her lips!!

What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game? Musical Chairs

Whats Helen Kellers favorite movie? Around the Block in 80 days.

If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?

What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when she knocked over a product-display in the store? Just looking!

Why couldnt Helen Keller play on her high school football team? Because shes a girl

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other.

Why was Helen Kellers leg yellow? Her dog was blind too.

What did Helen Kellers parents do to punish her for swearing? Washed her hands with soap.

How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron

Where do Helen Kellers parents have her go when theres company over? Disneyworld

Why was Helen Keller late for school? DUI

Why is all of Helen Kellers face burnt? She was bobbing for French fries

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron

How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face? They called back

Why was Helen Kellers leg wet? Her dog was blind too

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? Reading the waffle iron

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue

How come Helen Keller didnt scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens

Why does Helen Keller wear skin-tight pants? So you can read her lips

Why did Helen Kellers dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was Urghrrghrghr

Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it walks into walls

What did Helen Kellers parents do to punish her? Put saran wrap on the toilet

What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game? Musical chairs

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she knows where shes going!

Whats this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller moaning

The Following 1 User Say's Thank You to WastedShnarf For This Useful Post:

Phoram (07-19-2011)
#2. Posted:
Blue-Ranger
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umm haha those are ok ahah
#3. Posted:
Phoram
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lol funny stuff, but you repeated 3 or 4.
#4. Posted:
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favourited this page, for future reference
#5. Posted:
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HAHAHAHA I love this. Keep it up

- ABCorey
#6. Posted:
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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Rearrange the furniture.
#7. Posted:
WaWLOBBIESTTG
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some are funny most are repeats or are just stuoid but nice post bro
#8. Posted:
Closure
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some of those arent even that funny
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